A post that I (gladly) came across. Explicates what has been on my mind for a while, quite well.
For a while now, there has been an uproar over the increasing number of rapes in India, particularly Delhi, and the people’s attitude to them. Still, for most rape, and sex in general is a matter of shame. It is taboo: not to be talked of, something to be looked down upon and shunned. Even for the married couple, it is a matter that needs to be kept under wraps. The woman is left to deal with her own sexuality, and the man is left to himself….although usually this results in the man forcing himself upon his wife, the wife submitting to his demands. Marital rape, is a reality, but considered legitimate in the minds of only so many.
The issue today is to bring this matter out in the open. The need of the hour is to step out from these medieval shackles and definitions of femininity, virtue, chivalry and right, and realize the reality and the consequences of our actions.
The problem is not sex. The problem lies in how we deal with sex- the repression of one’s sexuality, the refusal to recognize one’s sexuality at all, the demonization of sexual activity, and the woman herself.
What we need to do is not avoid sex, but avoid forced sex, avoid unprotected, unhealthy sex. What we need to do is not discuss virginity, but how to lose one’s virginity in a safe, healthy way and where and how to go about from there.
The importance lies in discussing. Talking about it.
The importance lies in discussing not only the woman’s role in it. The importance lies in discussing the man’s role in it, in tandem with his relationship to the woman/man he may be involved with. Sex involves not one, but two people. Its consequences must be dealt with likewise.
Jezebel published a piece today with the title “Nearly 1% Of Women Claim They Were Virgins When They Gave Birth,” and, because this is Jezebel we’re talking about here, they used this as an opportunity to shame and belittle the women who say that they became pregnant while still virgins. And just so we all understand what author Erin Gloria Ryan means by virgins, she writes that they are women who,
“… were unpenetrated by the peen of a man when they became pregnant.”
She further explains,
“This doesn’t include women who became pregnant via in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination; these are women who gave birth the old fashioned way and were like *shrug! SERIOUSLY GUYS I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED!”
Then (incorrectly) asserts,
“Getting pregnant without sex is virtually scientifically impossible, yet dozens of women in the study (who were teens when the…
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