New Year’s Not-A-Resolution List


2013 is about to come to an end, and like at the end of every year, I feel the need to introspect.

But something feels different this time. I never make any New Year Resolutions because I know I will never stick with them. But I feel the desire to do something that sounds promising. It has been a strange year: full of ups and downs. It has been a strange year not just for me, but for friends and family too. And now all of us could do with some positivity, and maybe coming up with a list will help move faster in that direction.

Since Resolution-making never works, I have decided to come up with a Not-a-Resolution List for the year 2014. Here are a few things from that list. Hope it benefits you too!

1. Stay inspired!

2. Strive to maintain a healthier lifestyle. Eat well, exercise, drink lots of water

3. Take out at least half an hour for yourself everyday

4. Dress better

5. Work as hard as you can

6. But you don’t need to exhaust yourself. Just be regular and consistent

7. Do what you love. Find time for it.

8. Find time for the people you love. Make that phone call instead of texting. Meet up for coffee. You will regret giving up the opportunity to re-connect with the people who mean the most to you.

9. Yes, it is possible to find time. Its about priorities.

10. Set your priorities, and stick to them

11. Try to look for the positive in any situation. There is always something good you can find. Everything happens for a pretty good reason

12. Quit whining

13. Pull up your socks and get down to work!!

14. Try to look for the good side in people. Bitching only brings more negativity and exposes your shallowness and inferiority complex

15. If you cant find the good in a situation, make it better. Light a candle in a dark room.

16. Read more

17. Smile often

18. Help people if you can. You don’t need to do something big, just be there for them. Make someone smile

19. Forgive more often. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn to give second chances.

20. Don’t regret anything. Learn from your mistakes and turn them into something positive! Remember, you wouldn’t be what you are without having made those mistakes. Everything comes together in the end, like a jigsaw puzzle!

21. Actually try to do the above things. Not read, smile and move on

22. Speaking of which, move on. Look ahead in life.

23. Don’t give up

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Change


I changed the theme of my blog today. It felt like it was time for some change.

It is almost the end of another tumultuous year. Can’t say this year was bad, but it wasn’t great, and I could do with some change. But some people say change isnt always good. Some say it is. So which one should i go for? Change? Or no change?
This year was full of changes. I moved out of my house. I went from being ‘single’ to ‘casually dating’ to ‘in a serious relationship’ to ‘not sure’ to ‘single again’ all in the same year. I evolved physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially. Fell in love again after thinking I would never feel the same way again. Made mistakes which would continue to impact my life for some time. So much change has happened in a single year. Do I need more?

Yes, Change bums you out. It shakes you to the core, it wakes you up to the dark truths of the world. It takes you out of your comfort zone, forces you out of your warm blanket and pajamas.

So do I need more change?

And my heart says ‘YES!’ Yes, I do still feel the need for change. But this change needs to be positive. I need inspiration. I need a challenge.

Why? Because Change keeps you moving. It helps you come out of the rut you have made for yourself in life. It wakes you up when you have become too comfortable and lazy in your routine. It challenges you to get up again and find yourself! It asks you to look for the beautiful things in life….forces you even. It reminds you that things will not stay hunky-dory forever and you need to stay connected with the things that make you feel whole. It makes you want to re-invent yourself and the world around you for the better.

When the first wave of changing waters hits your face, it feels sharp and cold. But keep standing, and then you will feel the cold turn into a pleasant refreshing coolness. Yes, the first flash of Change is a struggle, but make it your own, swim through it, not wave your arms around in chaos, and soon, you will start enjoying the relief it brings. It will make you feel alive.

Embrace it. Live it. imagesChange.

Yes, I want some Change.

Virginity Is A Social Construct


A post that I (gladly) came across. Explicates what has been on my mind for a while, quite well.

For a while now, there has been an uproar over the increasing number of rapes in India, particularly Delhi, and the people’s attitude to them. Still, for most rape, and sex in general is a matter of shame. It is taboo: not to be talked of, something to be looked down upon and shunned. Even for the married couple, it is a matter that needs to be kept under wraps. The woman is left to deal with her own sexuality, and the man is left to himself….although usually this results in the man forcing himself upon his wife, the wife submitting to his demands. Marital rape, is a reality, but considered legitimate in the minds of only so many.

The issue today is to bring this matter out in the open. The need of the hour is to step out from these medieval shackles and definitions of femininity, virtue, chivalry and right, and realize the reality and the consequences of our actions.

The problem is not sex. The problem lies in how we deal with sex- the repression of one’s sexuality, the refusal to recognize one’s sexuality at all, the demonization of sexual activity, and the woman herself.

What we need to do is not avoid sex, but avoid forced sex, avoid unprotected, unhealthy sex. What we need to do is not discuss virginity, but how to lose one’s virginity in a safe, healthy way and where and how to go about from there.

The importance lies in discussing. Talking about it.

The importance lies in discussing not only the woman’s role in it. The importance lies in discussing the man’s role in it, in tandem with his relationship to the woman/man he may be involved with. Sex involves not one, but two people. Its consequences must be dealt with likewise.

The Belle Jar

Jezebel published a piece today with the title “Nearly 1% Of Women Claim They Were Virgins When They Gave Birth,” and, because this is Jezebel we’re talking about here, they used this as an opportunity to shame and belittle the women who say that they became pregnant while still virgins. And just so we all understand what author Erin Gloria Ryan means by virgins, she writes that they are women who,

“… were unpenetrated by the peen of a man when they became pregnant.”

She further explains,

“This doesn’t include women who became pregnant via in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination; these are women who gave birth the old fashioned way and were like *shrug! SERIOUSLY GUYS I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED!”

Then (incorrectly) asserts,

“Getting pregnant without sex is virtually scientifically impossible, yet dozens of women in the study (who were teens when the…

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I Sit By the Side of the Road


I sit by the side of the road

And life becomes a movie playing in front of my eyes

Now I am the movie

I walk towards the sun

I am that little bird flying across the sky

I am the kid on the bicycle

I am the woman he kissed

And with the tingling on my neck

My heart flutters

 

And jumps out of my body

It bounces on the street

And leaps into the chest

of the woman next door

 

I am the old woman

who fell in love and lost

And now I watch that young couple

As they play the same game of hearts

 

I am the painter

Who sits quietly in a corner

And paints the people that go by

 

I sit in a corner

And watch a movie

Of the street

I watch this movie

Called Life….

And now I am the movie