We have grown up with our parents and grandparents teaching us to be good human beings: never to lie, to be nice to everyone you meet, to be polite, to be helpful, and what not?
I am one of the many people who have tried hard to be a good and likeable person from the very beginning. I have tried to help people whenever in my own small ways, even when I had to go out of the way to just do something nice to someone. I have tried my best to be nice to everybody I met. Throughout my school life, I never bitched about anyone and thus, gained a lot of respect in return.
But then…BOOM! Life happened!
One by one, I was hurled into the harsh realities of life. I learnt on the rocky path that perhaps I didnt need to help every single person, and could and even had to refuse to help. I learnt that there are some situations where lying was a necessary evil. I learnt that being nice to people doesn’t always get you appreciation or even satisfaction, but finger-pointing and more tensions.
All the great utopian values that my grandparents taught me were pushed into the background as I dealt with different people and situations.
I met people who would simply take my politeness or sweetness for granted and then came a point when they started taking advantage of it. That is when I learnt, I had to start refusing help to people…I learnt to use the word ‘No’.
I met with situations where I had to speak white lies to certain people (some people call it diplomacy…sometimes even I do) when I wanted to wriggle out of uncomfortable situations. I also had to use it to protect my own dear ones from being hurt or pushed into awkward moments.
I also started backbiting people. Though I do not necessarily call it an essential virtue, but somehow, as you grow up and life turns crappier, there is an urge to vent the negativity and anger, unfortunately by blaming other people or shedding one’s own inferiority complex by bitching.
And then, I also learnt to be rude to people’s faces. I learnt to tell them to keep away from me because I was sick of their lying, and selfish nature, etc etc. Even though I tried to give subtle hints at first, and then stronger indications that I want to keep away from a certain person, I was forced to use harshness to finally get my word across.
I also started to break hearts. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, I had to abandon long standing friendships, trusts, etc to achieve my selfish goals in life…or even to just….breathe.
I guess, being all that virtuous isnt that easy when life strikes! Probably someday I will learn to hold on to these basic traits even in the worst of scenarios. Maybe I wont.
As of now, I think that turning into the ‘villain’ is the only choice left to you sometimes. Sometimes, it is even correct to do so.